Back from Hiatus

deep breath. ok, I can do this.

this is what I told myself when a set of giganto waves rushed there way towards me. (giganto meaning 4 ft high... I know HUGE!...right?) this is also what I told my self four minutes ago as I sat down to right this post. Basically I tell myself this every single day: running, biking, homework, going to work, school, sleep etc. it's all the same. a deep long sighing breath and then a motivational phrase such a s "yo go gurrl!" or "you got this!"

but lately, everything hasn't been ok. I've been feeling lost, worthless, and off track.
all this time I've been running from a panic attack. There's been one around the corner everywhere I go in everything I do. Nothing drastic has happened in my life, except that NOTHING has happened. I've been on this plateau in life where nothing seems to be going ANYWHERE. I left my blog in the dust, I'm STILL living paycheck to paycheck, I've been "slacking" on school (still getting A's, no worries), work is monogamous, and worst yet (in my pov) I haven't PR'd in running for 1 month. Actually, I seem to be getting worse. This past week I literally ran myself into injury (both my heels are stiff and piercing with pain with every step) and I'm 6 days away from my first race ever. so I got to this point in my life where all I see is the bad, and everything sucks.

this is what I was thinking as I sat in the water today holding on for dear life as HUGE waves where coming my way. and that's when I had a panic attack. I closed my eyes (dummy) and I cried. I finally stopped running from my panic attacks and just sat there and let it happen, and boy did it feel amazing! Seriously, I know it's not common to hear "woo hoo, I love'd that panic attack!" but this one was belated. It was less about the deadly waves and more about a release. I let out all the fear, anger, anxiety, and stress that I've been holding up inside me for TOO LONG. After six or seven waves of that it was over. The water had settled and everything was calm. the quiet after the storm. It was done. not more panic attack.

I took another deep breath, and this time I knew I could do it.

After that I surfed my one and only wave of the day and went in. I felt different. New. almost whole again. and that's when I realized that I was going to get back on track. I was going to get back to my lovely blog. I was going to let my body heal and take a few rest days before my race (still strengthen, just not worry about getting in my miles.) I was ready to be me again. and Damn does it feel great!

training:
0 running

instead...
I lifted at my house (I used 4 textbooks as my weights, and now my legs are DEAD...wtf?)
surfing...more like running from waves...

thank you for listening, and your patients =]

266th-tahoe

I'm in Tahoe baby!

today, I woke up at 9 and went for a run (1mi just for a cool down for yesterdays longy.)

anyways, lets back up a smidgen... last night we (Loren and I) stayed up 'till 3:00 am. Everybody else stayed up 'till 6:00am. So... early start was not gunna happen. (well, a few unnamed people of da party didn't wake 'till 12:00) so... this made a no go for the slopes. no biggy, Loren and Ii had other plans...

Canoeing around Lake Tahoe! we happened to stay at a friends house who's backyard looks like this:

 We made sure to take a map with us

 And Loren showin' off his sixpack.

And then dropping his shirt...oops

 And ofcourse I'm just awesome.

This was like the MOST AMAZING VIEW OF MY ENTIRE LIFE! Yeah, so, what where you doing around 10:00am today??
then we had some good brecky:

Have you ever tried that jam? so weird, and well, I actually didn't like it, but still, I still advise to try things that are new. you never know what you'll end up with. Either way, a good breakfast is always a the best way to start your day. amen.

It gave Loren and I a LOT of ENERGY! or maybe it's just Tahoe. (yeah, that's a pathetic pile of snow, but it's still awesome!)

We hit up the huge city of tahoe (aka ski rentals and tourist joints)
Then we stopped for some more yummers...

After  headed to watch the hunger games. Which was ACTUALLY a good movie. did not expect that.
funny thing is, Loren and I had a really great day, even though we didn't get to the snow. We where together and just had fun. but the day was not over yet, we later met with more friends...

And went to the pier to watch the sunset

 and be really cute

and then not so cute:

we decided to go shopping for food instead of eating out. Our hotel has everything (kitchen, hott tub, and b-fast) ...our friend had a free ride =]. But we still like to budget since this trip is still pretty pricy ($91 later...lol)

and then we had some real dinner:

(more than just a plate...soo good!)

I hope your doing well, I'll keep updating, but as for now.. I'm off to sleep...(need to get my ski on tomorrow)
good night!

267th-trip

Great start to a great day!

first things first... it's Easter and that's amazing! and well, this was the first Sunday in a long while that I have not had to work! amazing. So, this was my beginning to my spring break.

I woke up around 8:00 to get my first REAL long run this entire training. I ran 9 miles to the Capitola shipwreck and back. Let me say... it was not as bad as I thought it'd be. I did a decent 8:30 pace and didn't feel like my lungs where going to explode...but my legs did feel a little dead by the end. overall, a two thumbs up!

Then, I hit up my post run bfast oatmeal, avo, and molasses. mmm

funfact: did you know brown sugar is sugar cane mixed with molasses? that's why I love it!

And Loren's Breakfast... haha not really but kinda.

(Loren said he likes being around me 'cuz I'm like his healthy half, ha!)

Soo, let me spill some beans on you (no, not a fart)

Loren and I got invited to TAHOE this spring break. I haven't let you know yet 'cuz I found out yesterday and we weren't really sure if it would work out. BUT IT DID! and we're leaving TODAY and coming back WEDNESDAY! amazing I know.

So this was me at 11:00 today:

I had to go through our ENTIRE storage (seriously) to get all our ski gear together. NOT FUN. almost died and nobody would have found me. =/ But I survived and was ready around 2:00(yeah, I'm slower)

But before we got on the road, Loren HAD to go surfing (duh) and I HAD to take pictures (duh) we are a pretty good couple don't ya think?

(more photos to come)

Then... we were off.

268th-alia

My boyfriend is a TRUE artist!

I seriously can't believe that this actually is coming together sooooooo amazingly! Ok, so now you know, this wood project is obviously, Loren's first surfboard project. but from the mess on our porch you'd think we were building a second level. ( I wish) but no, really... isn't this amazing?
More info later yo!
BTW, all credit of this post goes to Loren himself...even the photo (minus my lame talk)

Training: 
3.2 mi

269th-2mi

I love the weather lately!!!!
I've been running a lot lately and noticed that its really sunny...almost too sunny. I think I may need to really persist those morning runs 'cuz it's getting hot!!

bring out dem sports bras (for awkward runners only. expect weird looks)


training:
easy easy 2mi (cool down from yesterday!)

270th-wood

Loren's craft:

I think sometimes I get a little old always blogging about me me me!
So there's been a twist (for a few days, don't worry, I'll get back to my amazing life soon =])

So... I haven't even old what the project is yet... but I think I like keeping it a small secret for a while.. until then I can bring you through what he's be doing.

Today and yesterday, he bought some wood. and he took three hours to buy that wood. and he also spen a few hundred $$ to buy that wood (and a few tools as well.)

Boy, don't you just love looking at that wood =]
Oh, and I'm also working on this:

Yes I'm painting/crafting again!! I went through sort of a dry spell for a few weeks there, but I'm back!
this painting is not done yet, but soon =]

(I guess I can't stop talking about myself...sorry =/)

Training:
6.8 mi

running was fun/killer today
went halfway to the shipwreck today. it was hot, hard, and I sweated a ton!!
definitely resorted to licking salt afterward. lol

what projects are you working on??

271st-craft-ish

I'm not going to say a word.

272nd- a dedication

I really wanted to dedicate this post to my sister Marie that means a great deal to me. She has been going through a rough time and I just wanted to let her know that I am here for her and pray for her every day.

I love you!





also...
I just got news that my childhood dog Woody was put down this week because of a tumor he had. He meant a lot to me and it brings me tears just thinking of his death, but I'd rather think of his life. Although he wasn't the brightest, he was very loyal. And that is something I always like to see in a friend. I missed the last ten years of his life because of moving to different states and countries, but I never forgot him

273rd-pink shoes

First pink Adidas shoe run:

It was amazing. I felt like I had a whole new pair of running legs. This was not like any old day that I felt maybe faster, stronger, or just all around better/more inspired while running. No, this was something completely different, and I blame it a\on the shoes. They made the difference, and in this case, it was the difference that counter. I will never go back to an over-used non-running shoe ever. There is NOTHING comparable to how I felt today and I am never going back!
Granted it was still a hard run. my legs hurt, and I am sitting here tyiping this drenched in sweat (no I haven't taken a showere yet) but these shoes (on there own) improved my running. Now, I can't wait to see what an actual pair of fitted ones will do (once I understand shoes more).

After the run I did my salt ritual. and boy, it was funn?

Yeah, it was actually really hard. But boy did I feel revitalized =]

 And then... I had WATER and a peanut butter Cookie.

Oh, and then some real breakfast duh (but I'm a boring Bfast eater, so no pictures)

Thanks for listening!

How do you make sure you drink enough water throughout the day?

274th-photo

yesterday again:

I took these shoes out for a spin yesterday trying to work them in WHILE I took photos of pigeons squirrels and backlit sea lions. I do have intensions for this.

I'm not sure if you guys understood, but I am now the volunteer photographer at SOS and for that, I have a pretty hefty list of needs and wants from them. One is an awareness photo of a sea animal in entanglement. They only have one that they really use and it's of an otter trying to save her baby from a plastic bag. (true and heart wrenching story) The thing is, this photo is used all over the world and they don't even have the rights for it. So, if this semester I can beat that photograph (an I don't even know that I want to) I need to know how to take photos of wild life eek. So not me, but it's a challenge. And I like that. 

Sooo, with that I'd like to leave all you with a vote. 

Which pigeon shot do you like best?

oh, and please, constructive criticism would save me from embarrassment in the future. What can I do better?

I know that next time, I wont leave the house without my telephoto, and I'm considering a tripod. 

All these shots where cropped to the bone and are way out of focus. no bueno.

now it's your turn. =]