261st-fear

I heard someone say yesterday that "when I'm surfing in a foreign place, I never hesitate; I don't fear the unknown waters. I see the great waves and I jump in the water. but here (at home) I always feel like things are "owned", that I need to fear the places where the pro go. Here, I stick to only what I know"

ok, so they didn't say exactly that, but I was jotting down notes at the moment. I was just being nosey.

To me this really shined light on a lot of things in my life.

Yeah vacations are meant for being more relaxed and layed back. And new "foreign" places are meant to be explored. But when it comes to being home, I often see a pattern of reclusiveness. For me, I don't get out as much. I rarely explore my home and even fear it at times. This is something I want to work on, to climb those walls and enjoy the home that I have.

262nd-frozen yogurt

makes my life worth living!

well, let's start with the morning.
I did a LOT of talking on the phone PLANNING a lot of this SUMMER.

Then I went to work...all day.

but guess what, Loren picked me up, and drove strait to the best place on the world. Frozen yogurt.

end of story.

263rd-tan line

so I did get a sunburn after all! it wasn't until 9:30 last night that I even realized my loptised tanline (make sure to adjust your bathing suit top before you decide to pass out in the sun for an hour) yeah, it's crooked, and I got pretty burnt. but at least I tanned my stomach a lil.

ok, so here's what's really on my mind. I have my first race in FOUR DAYS. I haven't ran all week up 'till today, and my ankles where not satisfied (they still ache, and Loren is still mad that I'm "running" on an injury) part of me knows I should listen to his advice, but the other just wants to man up and do what I want: run!
I'm in sort of in a panic mode. Even after this race I have a 10k to get ready for (6.2 mi) and I'm not "ready" for that mileage yet.

things I need to master:

• mental healthiness durring my runs
• recovery after runs
• more mileage
• stretching!

...and drink 3X more water...at the least.

oh, I forgot to share my latest buy/creation:

(Finally I stop talking about my race i know...it can get annoying!)

So, I bought this shirt from HE>i (check them out, they're amazing!)

but... they only had a size large left to ship :/...no biggy right? wrong, it was huge!

but no tears where shed, I just decided to take it to my craft room! aka my living room couch. it took me  a few hours to get it right (not as easy as I thought) but I love the finish product!

I trimmed and hemmed the bottom and I tied fabric to the back (and a lil stitch here and there)

and I'm wearing this shirt to my first 5k race!!! (ok, I lied, I'm still going to talk about my race!)

on that note...

Training:

2 mi easy REALLY easy

biked to and from school =]

264th-yesterdays aftermath

Good Morning!

it's 5 am in santa Cruz and I'm going to work. yay.

I don't even remember taking this photo because of the morning daze but it turned out quite all right.

I worked 'till 2 and sped my way home to get to the beach asap.
and then I passed out with a good book sun tanning for an hour. glad I didn't burn.

Back from Hiatus

deep breath. ok, I can do this.

this is what I told myself when a set of giganto waves rushed there way towards me. (giganto meaning 4 ft high... I know HUGE!...right?) this is also what I told my self four minutes ago as I sat down to right this post. Basically I tell myself this every single day: running, biking, homework, going to work, school, sleep etc. it's all the same. a deep long sighing breath and then a motivational phrase such a s "yo go gurrl!" or "you got this!"

but lately, everything hasn't been ok. I've been feeling lost, worthless, and off track.
all this time I've been running from a panic attack. There's been one around the corner everywhere I go in everything I do. Nothing drastic has happened in my life, except that NOTHING has happened. I've been on this plateau in life where nothing seems to be going ANYWHERE. I left my blog in the dust, I'm STILL living paycheck to paycheck, I've been "slacking" on school (still getting A's, no worries), work is monogamous, and worst yet (in my pov) I haven't PR'd in running for 1 month. Actually, I seem to be getting worse. This past week I literally ran myself into injury (both my heels are stiff and piercing with pain with every step) and I'm 6 days away from my first race ever. so I got to this point in my life where all I see is the bad, and everything sucks.

this is what I was thinking as I sat in the water today holding on for dear life as HUGE waves where coming my way. and that's when I had a panic attack. I closed my eyes (dummy) and I cried. I finally stopped running from my panic attacks and just sat there and let it happen, and boy did it feel amazing! Seriously, I know it's not common to hear "woo hoo, I love'd that panic attack!" but this one was belated. It was less about the deadly waves and more about a release. I let out all the fear, anger, anxiety, and stress that I've been holding up inside me for TOO LONG. After six or seven waves of that it was over. The water had settled and everything was calm. the quiet after the storm. It was done. not more panic attack.

I took another deep breath, and this time I knew I could do it.

After that I surfed my one and only wave of the day and went in. I felt different. New. almost whole again. and that's when I realized that I was going to get back on track. I was going to get back to my lovely blog. I was going to let my body heal and take a few rest days before my race (still strengthen, just not worry about getting in my miles.) I was ready to be me again. and Damn does it feel great!

training:
0 running

instead...
I lifted at my house (I used 4 textbooks as my weights, and now my legs are DEAD...wtf?)
surfing...more like running from waves...

thank you for listening, and your patients =]

266th-tahoe

I'm in Tahoe baby!

today, I woke up at 9 and went for a run (1mi just for a cool down for yesterdays longy.)

anyways, lets back up a smidgen... last night we (Loren and I) stayed up 'till 3:00 am. Everybody else stayed up 'till 6:00am. So... early start was not gunna happen. (well, a few unnamed people of da party didn't wake 'till 12:00) so... this made a no go for the slopes. no biggy, Loren and Ii had other plans...

Canoeing around Lake Tahoe! we happened to stay at a friends house who's backyard looks like this:

 We made sure to take a map with us

 And Loren showin' off his sixpack.

And then dropping his shirt...oops

 And ofcourse I'm just awesome.

This was like the MOST AMAZING VIEW OF MY ENTIRE LIFE! Yeah, so, what where you doing around 10:00am today??
then we had some good brecky:

Have you ever tried that jam? so weird, and well, I actually didn't like it, but still, I still advise to try things that are new. you never know what you'll end up with. Either way, a good breakfast is always a the best way to start your day. amen.

It gave Loren and I a LOT of ENERGY! or maybe it's just Tahoe. (yeah, that's a pathetic pile of snow, but it's still awesome!)

We hit up the huge city of tahoe (aka ski rentals and tourist joints)
Then we stopped for some more yummers...

After  headed to watch the hunger games. Which was ACTUALLY a good movie. did not expect that.
funny thing is, Loren and I had a really great day, even though we didn't get to the snow. We where together and just had fun. but the day was not over yet, we later met with more friends...

And went to the pier to watch the sunset

 and be really cute

and then not so cute:

we decided to go shopping for food instead of eating out. Our hotel has everything (kitchen, hott tub, and b-fast) ...our friend had a free ride =]. But we still like to budget since this trip is still pretty pricy ($91 later...lol)

and then we had some real dinner:

(more than just a plate...soo good!)

I hope your doing well, I'll keep updating, but as for now.. I'm off to sleep...(need to get my ski on tomorrow)
good night!

267th-trip

Great start to a great day!

first things first... it's Easter and that's amazing! and well, this was the first Sunday in a long while that I have not had to work! amazing. So, this was my beginning to my spring break.

I woke up around 8:00 to get my first REAL long run this entire training. I ran 9 miles to the Capitola shipwreck and back. Let me say... it was not as bad as I thought it'd be. I did a decent 8:30 pace and didn't feel like my lungs where going to explode...but my legs did feel a little dead by the end. overall, a two thumbs up!

Then, I hit up my post run bfast oatmeal, avo, and molasses. mmm

funfact: did you know brown sugar is sugar cane mixed with molasses? that's why I love it!

And Loren's Breakfast... haha not really but kinda.

(Loren said he likes being around me 'cuz I'm like his healthy half, ha!)

Soo, let me spill some beans on you (no, not a fart)

Loren and I got invited to TAHOE this spring break. I haven't let you know yet 'cuz I found out yesterday and we weren't really sure if it would work out. BUT IT DID! and we're leaving TODAY and coming back WEDNESDAY! amazing I know.

So this was me at 11:00 today:

I had to go through our ENTIRE storage (seriously) to get all our ski gear together. NOT FUN. almost died and nobody would have found me. =/ But I survived and was ready around 2:00(yeah, I'm slower)

But before we got on the road, Loren HAD to go surfing (duh) and I HAD to take pictures (duh) we are a pretty good couple don't ya think?

(more photos to come)

Then... we were off.